But in my working life, I'm depressed. It started earlier this year in April. I was pretty much guaranteed an escape from the graveyard casino surveillance life. It was to the point where I was introduced to my "fellow coworkers" as the new guy over drinks at a get together. So i put in an app and waited. I waited a whole month until I FINALLY got called for an interview. So I interviewed, which I thought I killed and waited again. Waited another month. By this time it was mid June so I reached out to my contact to see if he heard anything. He got back to me pissed off saying that the company basically screwed me over. The position I interviewed for got cut and merged into another one. So it was 2 months of waiting and getting my hopes up and worrying for nothing. He felt terrible that his company fucked me over so he reached out to some other people in his industry and was actually able to get me another interview with a different company in the similar field. Again, I felt like I killed the interview. But, months later (August) I received the "position has been filled" email. So that was 4 months of me thinking things were going to happen. It left me feeling defeated. Since then I've been up and down in funks and depressions. It comes and goes. The past month I've been fine but this last week. Man this last week has been tough. I think its the fact that we're getting to that holiday season and I know that I'm stuck at work on Thanksgiving, day after Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Years Eve and New Years Day. Also I'm stuck over night. I'll never get the chance or choice to switch shifts. It's affecting my everyday demeanor. The last week it has anyway. All I can do is breath and continue to look for apps. I gotta escape. To quote my dude Patrick Bateman I'm "on the verge of frenzy. I think my mask of sanity is about to slip."
Whew. Even if nobody reads this, it helped me. Peace out, LJ.